Dealer isn't in town this evening. What the fuck?!
Hopefully I ca get some shit tomorrow afternoon. He said he should be available then.
I'm buying a shit load just so I don't have to deal with this for a while.

I was terribly sick a couple weeks back. I don't believe it was the flu because I never lost my appetite. It started with a cough and after a few days turned into a pretty nasty head cold. I don't get sick often, but when I do I'm out of commission for a week or so. I figured in order to get better quicker I wouldn't smoke weed for a few days. That made sense at first. But I was having trouble sleeping with all the pain in my head and throat and was constantly being awoken by those pains. I used weed to deal with the symptoms and it certainly helped me sleep better for those few days. The end of the cold coinsided with me running out of my dwindling supply. I halfway decided that I should take a break from smoking for no particular reason. I can't say that I haven't smoked since I ran out (I smoked the resin for a couple days), but I can say that this has been the longest break I've taken from enjoying my favorite drug in about a eight months.
Why am I writing about this? I know it seems pointless (not that my other posts aren't). I just watched the movie Super High Me. It was entertaining, nothing epic, but funny. I guess it reminded me how much I enjoy smoking and why there is little to no point in me quitting at this point in time. I don't start college back up until this summer so I have the next few months to sit on my ass and get fucked up on the good shit.
Anyway... I guess I'm writing this because I'm calling up my guy tomorrow evening to buy. I can't fucking wait. Maybe I'll blog about it! Maybe you'll be even more bored then than you are now after reading this!

Some of my favorite pieces (or musings, if you will) deal with real time updates of my current sobriety on any given night. Meaning: I like to give minute by minute updates on how wasted I am. Tonite I'm not looking to do that because it takes to much time and the format I write those in isn't exactly conducive to a web-blog format. Anyway, I do want to chime in and say that I am getting drunk at the moment, because life is boring without booze.
Tonite's poison of choice is sweet tea vodka mixed with Diet Snapple iced tea, lemon juice, and water. It's still gross, but it gets the job done. I'm such a fan of beer so I'm not sure why I sprung for the vodka tonite especially since I don't drink liquor on the regular these days, but I'm glad I did. A little change never did anyone wrong. Let's just hope this change doesn't end with me passed out on a bar stool with Willy, everyone's favorite alcholic, feeling me up after the bar has closed.
Here's to a great nite and the meds that clear up chlamydia!

I'm so tired of people asking me what I've been up to recently. I never have a damn thing to say. It's almost rude to assume that I do things on a regular basis.

What have you been up to lately Rose?
I bought a bunch of DVDs off Amazon. I'm really into sketch comedy.
What did you do last weekend?
I got a tattoo of a comic book hero.
Who have you been hanging out with these days?
My TV and on Sundays: my parents.
How did you spend Friday night?
After working 10 hours I decided to go to bed early.

I like to keep it interesting that's all.


Oh. Someone I know died. His name was John Paul. I don't know what from, but I believe it to be a drug overdose. Most everyone I know who dies young seems to pass due to drugs. He was a really nice guy. I'm praying for his family. I know he was close to his parents.

I thought it had been more than just a month since I wrote last...

Not too much to report. I'm still single. I went back on my meds (again). I'm working all the damn time, but I'm ok with that. I have my own apartment that I enjoy decorating. I'm attempting to lose the 20 pounds I've gained in the last six months. I'm not very happy, but I'm dealing. I have moments of pure happiness when I realize how far I've come in the last few months. I'm making enough money to pay ALL my bills plus my rent. Things are generally good. I wish I could just enjoy it all more.

Also realized I haven't cut in months. The urge is still there. Just last week I thought about it, but it never goes past the thought. I haven't found myself playing with a razor in ages. So good for me... or something like that. I hope this time I can get through a whole year. I can't remember the last time exactly but I think it was in Feb or March... I'll have to check and see if I wrote about it. What sucks though is that those last cuts were so deep and the scars are still noticable. I've had to lie about them before. Oh well...